Surviving and thriving with Asperger's-- stories and tools to help you relax, communicate, and navigate the world-- by Asperger Experts.

Introduction. Time to be real with you. Sometimes life with Asperger's can suck-- a lot. Whether you're raising someone on the spectrum or on the spectrum yourself or both, there are times when you're going to be disappointed. There are times when you're going to be extremely frustrated. There are times when you don't know how on Earth you're going to continue because it feels like your entire world is falling apart before your very eyes. There are times where you are so anxious that you feel like you're going to die.

I've had all those moments and then some. My name is Danny Raede, and I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 12. Since 2012, I've been running Asperger Experts full time. It's a company that is equally based in personal experience of having Asperger's, the latest science and cutting-edge research, and the experience of working professionally with, at the time of writing this, over 500,000 people.

So yes, this is hard sometimes. And the problem is compounded because the world is not set up for people with Asperger's. It's hard enough for neurotypical people to live in the world, and it is just that much harder for people with Asperger's to go about living in a way that works well for them and gives them joy and fulfillment.

But it doesn't have to be that way forever. In fact, once you understand some basic ideas, gain some necessary tools, and implement some effective strategies, life can be as enjoyable as you want it to be, Asperger's or not.

What you hold in your hands is both a story of how I managed to build an enjoyable life, despite having Asperger's and ADD, and a tool kit that gives you extremely simple and actionable information, tools, and resources so that you too can live a fulfilling life.

As I was growing up, most of the time, I was really shut down. I was in defense mode constantly, and I didn't have many friends. So I spent my time playing video games, browsing the internet, and waiting. I did a lot of waiting-- waiting until I could play more video games, waiting until the weekend, waiting until I felt less lonely.

I'll tell my story in depth later in this book. But if you fast forward about a decade, I co-created Asperger Experts because I found the amount of helpful information targeted towards people with Asperger's to be extremely limited. So I decided to do the work to find, create, research, and document that information instead of continuing to wait.

Throughout the years that we've been running AE, we've noticed a pattern in all the interactions we've had. People come up to us and say, I'm confused and I'm frustrated. Help. That is usually followed by a story of the injustice they've experienced in their life. We've heard horror stories about teachers locking kids in broom closets because they misbehave or bullies badly abusing kids on the spectrum. We've seen what happens when people on the spectrum become lonely and depressed.

The point is you aren't alone in this journey. Here at AE, sadly, we know the horrors that you have experienced. We know that the world mistreats you and often dismisses you. Here at AE, we live with Asperger's every single day. We don't get to go home at the end of the day and turn work off. This is life. This is what we do.

We are here for you, and we're going to do our darn best to listen to you, to hear you, to really understand your struggles, to validate your pain, and to give you a voice to spread the message to other people. That's what we're here for.

Our number one job is to make sure that you get our best, to make sure that you actually feel heard, to make sure that you get the answers to the help that you are seeking, and to make sure that you don't always need to feel that gnawing, anxious, "oh my god, oh god, oh god, what am I going to do" feeling. Above all else, we're here to help you actually get some real answers from real people that know what they're talking about because they've been through it, people that can put their arm around your shoulder and say, hey, I've been here too. It's OK. Let me show you where to go from here.

Our job here is to be in the trenches with you, because we are. We get it. It sucks sometimes. But you know what, you aren't a bad person. None of this is your fault. It is unfortunately common to hear stories of other people saying to people on the spectrum, you are just being willfully defiant and not trying hard enough.

Now, of course, that is complete BS and none of that is true. They forget the fact that if you're living in a system that traumatizes you, where people yell at you and the school system dismisses you, then the normal response to that would be to shut down because that is scary. That's just traumatizing. That causes fear.

So that's not how we roll around here. We see for you. And I want to make that really, really clear so you can expect our best here at AE. You can expect that guidance. You can expect that help. You can expect somebody to listen because we've all been through the stuff together. If you'd like to share your story and participate in our community, we invite you to create a free account at wwwaspergerexperts.com. With that being said, let's get started.

How to use this book. People with Asperger's, like myself, often have a component of ADD that comes along with the diagnosis. It's hard for us to focus for long periods of time, especially on things that are heavy and talk about life, like this book. So I've decided to embrace that trait. This isn't a "read front to back" kind of book. I encourage you to be ADD and skip around. Find the sections that interest you and read those. Ignore the rest if you want to. Come back often because you'll find that your perspective changes and what was once boring and irrelevant becomes interesting over time and vice versa.