Chapter 1, finding the right schools made all the difference. Hi. My name is Naomi. I am 26 years old, and I'm from the Midwest, although I'm currently living in New England.

I was 16 years old when I was diagnosed, and I had just finished my sophomore year of high school. I was in special ed pretty much from the day I started school and up through high school. I was told for years that it was just ADHD, but my mom is a psychologist and knew that there was something more, but she wasn't really getting the answers she thought she needed. As a result, she sent me to a new school, a boarding school in Utah, and they were pretty much able to tell us what something more was right off the bat.

My early teenage years weren't the easiest of times for me. I was struggling with reading comprehension. And obviously, paired with the ADHD, I wasn't focusing well. I struggled in other areas, such as testing. It took me a lot longer to take tests, mostly due to the cognitive and comprehension aspects of it.

When I was 14, I tried to commit suicide, and my parents decided to hospitalize me for a week or two. After that, they tried to send me back to public high school, and I wasn't doing very well. I was completely going against what I was told to do. I wasn't doing my homework, and I was being disobedient in class. So my parents found a school that was both behavioral and educational. So a residential treatment center is where I ended up getting my high school diploma.

I actually graduated early. If I had stayed in public high school, it would have been halfway through my senior year. I moved out of the program and started college as soon as I graduated from high school into another residential program out in Arizona for young adults with autism.

I ended up dropping out of college out there because the program didn't work for me, and I started at yet another program in New England for young adults with autism. I actually ended up going into hairdressing school with their assistance, and I graduated with flying colors at the top of my class in that program. As of right now, I am not working in a salon, but I am working at one of the local retailers that provides the products for salons. It's really nice because it's not as stressful and I still get to use my knowledge and license.

I like it a lot. It's very low key. I've been there for almost three years now. It's actually part of the Sally Beauty company, although Sally Beauty has different levels. There's Sally Beauty, which is open to the general public, and there's CosmoProf, which is only open to licensed professionals. So most of my job is really about the knowledge of the product and the colors.

Being in the position that I am in now feels absolutely fantastic because I was told for years that I wouldn't amount to anything because of my disability. I was told that I wouldn't drive. I was told that I probably wasn't going to be able to hold down a job. Now, I've been at the same job for almost three years. Now, I'm driving. Now, I'm living independently and it feels great. Five or six years ago, I probably wouldn't have seen my life turning out the way that it has.

Getting a driver's license and life skills. I didn't get my driver's license until I was 21. I didn't participate in the driver's ed program in school because that was around the time I was pulled from high school, so I missed that stage completely. Looking back, I'm actually OK with that because there's no way I would have been able to handle the stress of that at the time, so I'm glad that I waited.

After I got my license. I actually took further driving lessons before I got my car so that I felt really ready to drive the vehicle. Then, it wasn't until a few years ago that I drove on the highway for the first time. I was scared to do that, and I just didn't feel ready. I ended up making my first big trip earlier this year.

My first big solo drive was a trip to visit my boyfriend, who now lives with me. He's from Buffalo. And I drove about a 5 and a half hour trip from here to Buffalo all by myself. I'm so proud of myself for doing that.

At home, in my personal life, I'm not going to lie. I'm not the cleanest person. I like my clutter. But I like to call it organized clutter. I say I get that from my mom because my mom always had piles everywhere in the house, so I got that from her. I have my piles, and I'm OK with that. Sometimes, other people aren't, but I try to make it neat when I have guests over.

Cooking is something that I've been working on doing more of. Over the last few years, I actually dropped 30 pounds with Weight Watchers. Doing that program has taught me to do more cooking instead of just ordering out like I used to.

Before, I used to be able to get a pizza and just eat the whole thing in one sitting if I wanted to, but doing the Weight Watchers program has taught me how to plan my meals. Without that extra step, I feel like I would just be ordering food whenever I wanted, which isn't healthy. And I'm glad that I switched that up.

One thing I've noticed for me, though, is that someone may be able to look up a recipe and bing, bang, boom, they have lasagna. I can't do that. For me, a lot of investment has to go into that process.

Prior to my boyfriend moving in with me, I had a life coach. Since the 2020 pandemic, we really haven't gotten together, but prior to that, she would come over once a week and help me with cleaning and dishes and just generally making sure that everything looked nice and was livable. Now that my boyfriend is living with me, I'm trying to transition away from that. Since I'm not living alone anymore, I want to see if we can actually do this stuff on our own, because that's the way we're going to move forward in life and be fully independent.

One of the biggest things I had to figure out was learning how much time I needed to do a task and then making sure that I had the same amount of time every day, regardless of what my schedule is. So if I have to be at work by 8 o'clock, I like to give myself an hour and a half to watch some TV, have my breakfast, and get dressed. So I allocate myself x amount of time to watch TV and eat my breakfast, and then, another allowance of time to get dressed, and then, that gives me a formula for how much time I have to get to work by 8:00.

When I was in one of the programs that I mentioned earlier, they had extremely strict schedules, and they were all on spreadsheets. So I have kept that mental picture in my head and really ingrained it into me. Doing that now, I just see how much time I have and then subtract how much time I need to do certain things. And then, based on that, I allocate how much time to give myself and what I can do within a day.

It's all about time management. Once I got a system down that worked for me, it's pretty much been my driving force. Now that I know that it works, I use it for everything.

Reminders on my phone are also nice. If I don't have that reminder, chances are, I'm not going to do what I'm supposed to do. So I really need to write things down in order to get them done. Because otherwise, I could be playing on my phone and completely forget that I have to do something. Then, by the time I remember to do it, it's most likely too late.

For example, if I needed to make a phone call in regards to something that closes at 5:00 PM, and I don't write it down to call them before 5:00 PM, chances are, I won't remember until 7:00. And then, by then, it'll be too late. In terms of finances, my dad has been extremely helpful in the money department.

Before I started working, my parents helped me a lot with bills, because nowadays, you can't pay for bills on your own, even while working full-time. There's just not enough money in the world to live completely on your own working minimum wage. As I've been saving up more money, my dad has been slowly switching the bills over to my bank account. It started with him having access to my bank account and having conversations about what bills I wanted to pay, and then, him pulling it out and taking care of it. As of now, little bit by bit, he's actually been having me do that now.

My phone is my best friend. I get notifications for when I have to pay my bills. I have them set on a monthly basis, reminding me when each certain bill is due so I don't forget. It's been a really good system.

I've always covered my rent, and I recently started taking on my car payment and my phone. At this point, the only ones that my parents cover are my internet, my electric bill, and part of my credit card bill, because my dad and I share a credit card. Although, slowly and slowly, I'd like to start paying for those ones, too.

Advice for others. To the parents of someone on the spectrum, I would say do what you need to do for them. They'll thank you for it later, even though they might fight you over it for a time. I know that I definitely fought my parents quite a bit.

In fact, I can clearly remember my reaction to being told that I was going to boarding school. I lost track of how many F bombs I dropped that day. But going to that school ended up drastically changing my life for the better and gave me plenty of answers as to who I was.

To the 16-year-old who is in the same position that I was in, I would tell them to keep trying. I would tell them not to give up because eventually things are going to fall together and work out. You may not feel it right now, but one day, you're going to be happy. If you give it time, eventually, you are going to feel much better about yourself.

I was not a happy person. I had no friends. I was failing in school, and I didn't want to be there. But looking back, I know that I wouldn't be where I am right now if the things that occurred in my past didn't happen.

My life took its course, and it was a tough one, but I'm glad that it went the way it did. Do what you need to do to make yourself successful. You can listen to what other people have to say, but in the end, it's ultimately what you think is best for yourself. So follow your heart and your gut.